During the 52 tera-octects of logos, we offer you some free music.
On my command...
Attention!
Europe, France and Guiana
are proud to unveil this statue of Mariane
for the forest village
where 12 families have volunteered to move.
I'd like to wish our pioneers good luck
and say that Guiana is not the Far West
and never will be.
Love live the republic! Long live France!
The outrageous VINCENT MACAIGNE
The hurricane VIMALA PONS
STRUGGLE FOR LIFE
NOT from the Comédie Française
KEEP OFF THE GRASS
MINISTRY OF STANDARDS
Principal Private Secretary
Send in the cleaning lady.
The interns left.
So we call it a day.
Excuse me. I'm Marc Chataigne.
It's for my internship.
You've come too late to choose your post.
I just assigned them. All over.
It was the subway.
Don't shout before pain.
If I say...
coconut tree.
What comes to mind?
Coconuts.
Tropics?
You win. Your post is Guiana.
Why not Chernobyl? I thought it said France.
Exactly!
Guiana is France.
France, sir, is an empire
on which the sun never sets.
From Ile de la Reunion to Cayenne
to Polynesia,
our flag flies day and night.
Alas,
flags give way to logos,
laws of the state to rule of the multinationals.
Guiana is nice!
But... it's the jungle.
It's a jungle here too.
We'll revive tourism in Guiana.
Everyone beat us to South America. Playtime is over.
You will oversee a project respecting European standards.
Guiana is France. And France is Europe.
So Guiana must comply with European standards.
And you will have the responsibility
to lay the first stone of...
Guia-Snow.
Guia Snow!
France will show South America
that we can export our one resource coveted by all.
Cold weather!
We'll build the first indoor ski-station in the Amazon
with fake snow!
Financed by Europe and elite partners!
The World Bank of Sports,
Happy Senior Pension Fund and Qatar!
- Qatar? - Yes, Qatar!
And national debt?
What national debt?
Louis XIV taught us to go into debt.
We're not destined to be profitable.
Anglo-Saxons tried but failed.
Look at the debts of cities in the United States.
If you add up each person's debt, it breaks all records.
France understood it ages ago.
Mankind is not profitable, Mr. Chataigne!
This bridge connects Guiana to Brazil.
Ten years to build.
Only a state can.
No one believed in it.
Now it's a success. In everyone's interest.
Personally, I never criticize until I see the reality.
Ten years!
France lacks huge projects.
I'm the cleaning lady's intern. She's doing training.
Fine, come in.
For your internship: write a report, bring it, I stamp it,
I okay it, you enter the work force.
- It's been 10 years. - This time it's true.
Pick a model.
- That one. - Impossible. This.
Here's your bag. And finally...
The "Code of Standards". It's my bible.
Bring it back intact.
Have a great vacation!
But it's an internship.
Mental plus physical.
Physical thinks mental
and mental gets physical thinking.
Traction, action, repulsion.
Obey the cervical-lumbar axis or you'll slip a disc at 80
and wonder why.
Watch out for your lumbago.
Sometimes you scare me.
Excuse me. I rent this place.
I'm calling the police.
Mr. Friquelin, tax bailiff.
You have yourself to blame.
259,857 euros in debt and you act innocent.
I'm from Auvergne.
I never spent more than 1,000.
Get to work.
- Hurry! - Family pictures!
Yours?
- My favorite puzzle. - Finished, it's worth a fortune!
This one too?
This is too big for the stairs!
Ivory only.
It's my Granny's. You're crazy.
Crazy? You want to see crazy?
Marc Chataigne? Born in 1942 in Vichy?
No, can't you tell I'm much younger?
Wrong Chataigne.
Let's go.
And my stuff?
For goods repossessed, make a claim. For the rest, we'll see.
For the Tax Office, take paperwork proving you're not dead.
- Not dead? - Alive.
Prove you're alive!
I leave tomorrow for Guiana.
So? Guiana is France! Do the paperwork there!
State of emergency...
Have a nice holiday!
Excuse me. Go on, ma'am.
Thank you, sir.
Very kind of you.
Sir? Get in line.
- No but... - In line!
Hello, hello?
Alpha tango.
This is your Captain. The use of...
cigarette, e-cigarette, patch,
chocolate cigarette, nicotine gum or any cigarette substitute
is forbidden aboard. Okay?
Hello. Mr. Rosio?
It's his intern.
He wants to talk to you.
I'm in Qatar. I'm with her.
It's great. The station is amazing.
It doesn't seem fake!
Stop!
A driver will meet you.
Go to Guianian Tropical Consulting.
Your contact is Galgaric.
This is a real public works project!
Galgaric...
The driver will meet you. Goodbye.
Damien Corbillon.
I'm on a mission to Guiana.
You too.
Who's crazy enough to vacation there?
Marc Chataigne.
Ministry of Standards.
Working on a ski-station project.
- Guia-Snow, right? - Exactly.
I work for an audit firm.
For the Cayenne-Manaus train.
- Great. - Where is Guia-Snow? Show me.
There.
Here? Right on my route.
The hard part is to prospect this land.
Here.
It's where the Amerindians live.
It's protected.
So what? Who the fuck cares?
How can they stop bulldozers?
I'll eat them alive.
Keep it, pal.
Fish or chicken, sir?
Chicken.
None left.
Fish then.
And you, sir?
Whatever is best.
Can't I get the same?
Hey! Air bimbo!
Same thing!
- Good times! - Cheers.
Pesetas!
250 euros. Cash or credit?
Who cares? The company pays.
No, but...
That sucks!
Hello, hello, Alpha, Bravo,
Delta, Charlie, Bravo Charlie...
The Indians...
I'll eat them alive.
Sir? Your papers...
- What's in the bag? - Nothing.
Just a computer and the Code of Standards.
And in the computer?
Ideas, writings...
What kind of writings?
What kind?
Excuse me.
Have you seen the rest of my bag?
I'm not your slave.
Causing trouble?
He implied a Guianian stole his bag.
I just asked where it was.
Here's your bag.
Machine's never wrong.
GUIANIAN TROPICAL CONSULTING
- How did you end up here? - I was just late.
Posted here for being late?
It's true.
No administrative penalties.
We went to the airport. You disappeared!
No big deal.
Christian Duplex, chief engineer.
- Chataigne is here to standardize. - Welcome!
Don't believe Guiana's legends. Beware rumors.
Things seem complex but Guianians simplify them.
Demonstration.
At least we don't drain mountain lakes.
Canons pump water straight from the river.
Excuse me, but... shouldn't this water be brown?
- It's blue. - Below, it's blue.
- Brown water can't make white snow. - We're working on it.
Is that full scale?
It's just a model.
It'll be bigger.
Your office.
We'll fix it up.
We'll lay the first stone soon.
Tomorrow you'll standardize on-site.
What if it's not conform?
If it's not conform, it will be conform.
Chataigne, look at this bridge.
I recognize it.
No one wanted it.
10 years to build. Useless for 5.
Europe paid for it.
Brazilian cars can't use it
due to European standards.
I listen to criticism until I see the reality.
Guiana is not Euro-standardizable.
In here it's ISO-9001.
If you open the window, the hot air kills you.
If you need air con,
the humidity stays inside. Shut it.
It's rotting.
The only answer:
turn on the air,
open the windows and use fans.
See you tomorrow at Guia-Snow.
I guess you need a car. You didn't come by car, did you?
No license.
A driver for your stay.
You can have Tarzan.
Lousy at airports but great in forests.
Going like that?
Yeah...
You need a hat.
Pick a model.
- That one. - We're all out.
Seen the driver for Guianian Tropical Consulting?
Name of Tarzan?
- It's me. - You're Tarzan?
Aren't you a woman?
If you prefer, you can walk.
I didn't mean it personally. You're a woman.
Thanks for the airport.
You're blind too?
I stood 2 hours with this. Let's go to the hotel!
There. Thank you. You're welcome.
How does it work?
Are you available 24/7?
Let's make things clear, old fart.
I'm no maid. I'm an intern too. Forestry and Water.
I'm in charge of renovating French gardens.
I'm waiting for ash and plane trees.
They're stuck at customs.
My internship ends next week.
So I'm not your driver.
Just a helpful engineer.
You can thank me.
What's this?
Internship report
They sent me another freak!
You didn't get much sleep?
That's right.
Big bags under your eyes too.
Yes, I didn't sleep a wink. Who's to blame?
I have to go to the Tax Office now.
They're closed.
And we have to meet Galgaric.
Forget about it.
I'll go by foot. It's across the street.
To work well together, no more adjacent rooms.
That way we'll avoid...
bothering each other all night long.
- Do you read me? - Loud and clear.
And I agree wholeheartedly.
But we're not going to Tropical Consulting.
It's much further, dummy.
- Sleep well? - Not great.
Women.
Can you lend me some money?
I don't know...
It's the last of it.
A work expense.
Conservation area... My ass!
Indians...
I'll eat them alive.
Nice grass.
GMO...
Tarantulas love it.
It stops growing at standard height.
Less lawnmower waste.
But we pay royalties whenever we plant.
Auteur theory isn't what it used to be.
I admire the Ministry of Standards.
Controller is an age-old job.
The Romans imposed standards on lands they conquered.
They'd arrive and say: "It's nice here. Let's build toilets."
And they'd build urinals and roads.
Now in addition to urinals and roads, we bring leisure.
After English lawns,
Alpine snow. Guia-Snow!
I forgot.
An official apartment was vacated.
One of you can move in.
- Volunteer? - Me!
Kids, I have an amusing proposition.
Winner moves in.
Shit!
I didn't know anyone could be so bad.
It makes sports a total turn-off.
I'll show you the art of golf.
That's why I'm the boss and you're interns.
I couldn't find the stick.
That should work better.
Nice posture.
What are the 4 species that adapt everywhere?
Man...
rats, ants and cockroaches.
One of them will take our place.
The end of our anthropocene epoch
where mankind left a geological impact.
Next, the roach epoch!
Our concrete civilization will leave
no ruins like those of Egypt, Greece or Rome.
No cathedrals.
Just gray dust and rusty beams.
We're doomed to oblivion because of those materials.
Guiana colonizes white man, not the opposite.
Nature ends up swallowing us up.
I win.
Looks like Tarzan will be moving in. Unless you share it.
No way.
Play, Chataigne.
Go and find your ball.
He's not working?
You're not working?
Coming to Guia-Snow?
Mr. Chataigne hasn't played his ball.
Nice shot!
He gets the apartment.
15 minutes is enough.
I have to go to the Tax Office today.
- I advise you not to. - Why?
Creole strike over disciplinary sanctions.
Damn lazy whites. No offense intended.
- Here we are. - Where?
Guia-Snow is here?
Where else?
I don't understand. Sorry, but...
it's not at all...
the picture I got in Paris.
I took it.
It's from 2 months ago.
This is from two months ago?
It grew quickly...
Impossible to bring it up to standards.
Can I at least get the permits in due form?
In due form.
- I understood. - It's very clear.
I...
That way?
Why not do Guia-Snow here?
It's already deforested.
It's the shopping center.
Let's get that fax.
- The door. - Of course.
Look. Two of everything.
So I can golf and work.
Double vest principle.
Your fax.
Sorry. In less than a day,
it turns black.
Humidity.
You realize I can't validate the project with this blackened sheet?
Give me a week. 15 days.
At most, 6 months. At worst, 14 months.
Tough job. It won't drain, tons of mud.
But the frogs are thrilled.
Can I say something?
One question. How are you going to drain the swamp,
protect a species and get the Eco-Friendly Tourism label?
I expected that.
That label concerns only tourists in discovery mode.
So who cares?
Deforestation-wise, try crossing the border.
No carnage here, like in Brazil.
Four frogs protected by Euro-technocrats won't stop Guia-Snow.
Did I answer your question?
I think she's right. Aren't you scared of WWF?
WWF-Guiana?
It's him.
Plastic pine trees
are totally recyclable.
Wear helmets. Danger often comes from above.
Did you plan for an infirmary?
Skiing means broken legs.
And gangrene.
- Why? - The humidity.
Meaning?
Amputation.
Shit!
Fuck!
Even if your project is stupid as hell,
financed by God knows who and petro-dollars,
you have a great internship.
Guia-Snow is a public utility project,
financed transparently and internationally.
The declaration of public interest is crap,
when Qatar and World Sports Bank pay.
Playing ecologist with your French trees?
Your orderly gardens, all so symmetrical!
"Step into this garden and take note,
1001 trees, 1001 different shapes,
"except their own."
Shut your face!
Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
Listen,
Mr. "Climate-Changer/Nature Organizer".
French gardens symbolize the Republic
because the strong trees never damage the weaker ones.
Socialism as symmetry!
What a grand idea to organize Nature!
It's Duplex!
Given your speed,
when we get to Cayenne, he'll have the permits.
There!
How's that?
A real woman at the wheel,
not like Qatari women who can't drive!
Wrong! It's Saudi women who can't drive.
He's catching up.
The Code.
That was my official car!
Relax. We just need a tow truck.
- Thanks. - My pleasure.
I'll drop you off in Cayenne.
They'll strip my car clean!
Come on, get in.
Hurry up!
Better if all 3 of us move it.
Freeze!
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
You drive! Move your ass!
I left my cell in the car.
We'll be fine.
I have my phone.
- Calling the cops. - No, the king.
Guiana.
Jungle.
Police. Your call will be answered in 13 hours and 55 minutes.
- You're not calling Galgaric? - What for?
To say we're lost in Guiana?
Best way to fail an internship!
We should go back to Guia-Snow.
That way. It's a shortcut.
Are you sure?
It's safer to stay on the road.
Safe enough to get robbed at gunpoint.
I don't want to get tortured.
This will guide us. With a smartphone, no worries.
It's like Columbus' sextant.
It's straight ahead...
A 20-minute walk.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Wait.
This doesn't feel right.
Let's go back to the road.
We'll get lost this way.
There's no problem. We have satellite and GPS.
GPS can't lead us astray.
Darn! It says we're in the ocean!
No more network.
We need to go higher up.
Into the trees.
- With branches? - Yes.
Here I see branches but no trees.
Help me up.
Come on, give me a leg up.
One, two, three.
Show some effort, Tarzan.
Put some effort into it!
- Almost a signal. - You okay?
Galgaric?
Chataigne, I'm busy.
I'll call you in 15 minutes.
I'll call his higher-up.
I have no strength. I can't.
SWITZERLAND - WORLD BANK OF SPORTS
Welcome to the World Sports Bank.
We conform to the standards of the representativeness
of society's racial components and of gender parity.
As you can see, we have
a white couple,
a black couple,
an Asian couple,
an Eskimo couple
and, our pride and joy,
an Israeli-Palestinian couple.
This proves we're not racist at the World Sports Bank.
Now let's work on Guia-Snow's slogan.
Communication can be about social issues.
"Let's be social" is Dubai's slogan.
Already trademarked.
Why not "Be social"?
Also trademarked.
"Be".
Trademarked.
I am GUIA-SNOW
For you.
My smartphone!
There he is! He took my smartphone!
My smartphone!
Give me my phone!
Bastard!
- This way. - That way.
- This way.
Mr. Friquelin, tax bailiff.
I'm looking for Marc Chataigne.
He specializes at playing dead.
GUIANIAN TROPICAL CONSULTING
CRISIS MEETING
We'll wait before launching Operation Sparrowhawk.
Any sparrowhawks here?
Not many.
Chopper's down. They still may show up. Tarzan knows the forest.
If we fall behind, I get fired.
I don't want to be sent to...
What's worse than Guiana?
Corsica!
Prototype of the high-speed train.
8 cars surrounded by 2 electrical motorcars.
It pays off big time.
Moreover, it's multi...
Moreover, it's multi-seasonal...
I can help find them too. How can I help?
By refraining yourself.
I don't want this on my conscience.
I'll find them myself.
Fuck your conscience. Just keep quiet. Paris won't like missing interns.
- I'm afraid they crossed the lake. - I'd say here.
Here.
That's too far.
- This is the fault of Guia-Snow. - Wrong!
The only thing at fault is your driving.
Get a license if you want.
Unfortunately no one could pull strings.
Unlike your internship.
It's merit-based.
On my work, not my looks.
Lucky for you.
Can you at least ski?
I've never tried.
The man for the job!
In France, you don't have to know a field
in order to manage it.
Does the Defense Minister know how to drive tanks?
You wanted forest training... now you have it.
- What are you doing? - I'm doing my job.
Being in the jungle
doesn't mean no work.
I need inspiration.
So...
"Guia-Snow will be...
"a vector to meet and have fun,
"the number one spot...
in Guiana."
What?
I don't understand.
If you hurt it, it'll squeeze me to death.
Pretend you're writing.
"...will enrich"
"the social biotope..."
What's more dangerous, the snake or you?
What about water?
That's how you avoid drinking mud.
Your only choice, wimp.
What about food?
That's a baby.
Is one enough for a meal?
- We'll find wood for a shelter. - What kind?
Try to find dry wood.
- Enough of this cloaca. - Know what a cloaca is?
A reptilian chamber containing
stool, urine and sperm.
Maybe we can help?
Let's hurry.
Let's look for wood.
There you are.
It was so hard to find this.
So I have to do everything again.
- You do nothing at home? - Everything.
Does your girlfriend help out?
What girlfriend?
It's nice up here.
Many snakes in the trees?
A word of warning.
I hate being felt up when I sleep.
I know the type of bachelor you are.
In fact...
since when are you single?
I don't want to discuss this.
18 years.
18 years?
In high school?
And since?
Nothing except...
I graduated.
Lie down. It's almost nightfall.
- Okay. - And afterwards?
I did validation training
after my Masters.
And now...
a tax bailiff is hunting me down.
Goodnight.
Yeah.
She plays jazz.
THE END
I dreamt it was the end.
I can't be late for the Tax Office.
I have to prove I'm alive.
Don't worry. You may not even have to go.
Newcomers last 3 days in the jungle.
I don't expect to spend 3 days here.
This hurts more and more.
Let me see.
We'll lance it or you're dead by nightfall.
Don't move.
Yuck, it stinks.
What's that?
- It's gross. - What is it?
Is it all out?
Chataigne!
Gotta do what you gotta do.
Why are you here?
Don't shoot!
Marc Chataigne, Ministry of Standards.
We're interns and we're lost.
- We're lost. - Let me see that!
Hands off the knife.
The high-speed train map!
Someone I know will want this.
It's dangerous here. Don't stay. Follow me.
Come on!
Beware of mosquitos.
Careful...
What are you doing?
It's dangerous here. Full of gators.
- It's you. - Yes, it's me.
Come, I don't have all day.
You okay?
- Dangerous here. - I told them.
- Who are the idiots? - Not idiots.
Two interns who got lost. Look.
High-speed train in 2030.
What? 2030 is tomorrow.
The jungle was better before.
Farewell, old Europe
In hell you should burn up
Farewell, old country
- What? - Noise.
- There's no noise. - There was one.
It stopped.
Walk backwards to cover our trail, if anyone's following.
Farewell, old Europe In hell you should burn up
Leave footprints!
Or else why walk backwards?
Who sent these interns?
Farewell, old past
Our lives are ending fast
We need to see the sun,
we need room so we can again bloom
We are doomed...
I'm sick of this jungle!
I like war.
My boot!
I'll find you.
My boot!
Guiana is full of advantages.
They speak French.
It's hot, not too dry.
It's France, so...
the best health coverage in the world.
And with Guia-Snow, Canadian retirees will feel at home.
Mr. Rosio...
We have faith in French gerontocracy.
But the Happy Senior pension fund
is very concerned about pre-construction costs.
We'd like to know if the payroll can be reduced
to reassure shareholders.
Rest assured.
Besides security guards,
Guia-Snow will create
no jobs!
Great.
Cut the engine.
Mr. Friquelin. Funny double vest joke.
I waited 27 hours.
I'm looking for Marc Chataigne.
I'm searching for him. I have my canoe nearby.
Touch base later.
I'll join your expedition.
Farewell, old Europe...
With all this shit, I feel like I'm in Europe.
I'm sick of his allegories.
Stolen shoes bring trouble.
Borrowed. Yes, sir.
Excuse me. Are you the owner of...
Fuck ownership!
And government-allotted land.
The jungle needs a master.
"Galgaric was wrong.
"The difference
"between himself and the interns
"was not a difference in golf
"but in fact a difference
in birth."
1, 2, 3, 4!
I'll add some rum.
Fruit salad's done.
I did some salvaging.
The owner died and I salvaged the place.
Not really.
I salvaged the place, then the owner died.
Cheers.
Move, Ulrich. You're blocking the view.
This is delicious.
Delicious.
I'll have seconds.
Drink.
Can I have some more?
So you never knew war?
I'll show you.
Stop!
We know economic war. The old send the young to the front.
Or to be interns.
Right?
Since you're young, I hope I didn't use too much aphrodisiac.
Goodnight.
Excuse me.
Can I rub mosquito lotion on you?
- No! - As a friend.
I feel the urge, so I have to write.
Sex...
I'm writing, I'm writing...
We got drugged. We must resist.
Hold on.
It was hot last night.
Sleep well?
That's not why I came.
I came to write a report, no more.
Give me that.
I'd like...
I'd really like...
to keep George's typewriter.
Ask or you'll be sorry.
I'm embarrassed to ask,
but can I borrow your typewriter?
I'll give it back in Paris, in the suburbs.
In Fontigny les Oubliettes.
Line 4, then take the bus.
No suburbs.
It's my machine.
I thought you hated ownership.
- You're right. - Take it.
Let's go!
30 years in the jungle!
Only one left.
We'll have to go...
together.
You're compressing my genitals!
I hate being touched.
You didn't say that last night.
My Code!
Your groping made me lose my Code!
Your desire is not reality. You think I groped on purpose?
I can't write my report without the Code!
Forget your book! We're hanging over the jungle!
I'll go and get it. I've done 30 years of jungle!
Okay, okay...
Vines... are like internships.
Don't drop one till you got another.
I'll show you.
Almost 30 years of jungle!
Wake up!
I want to see jungle snow once.
I'll show you the exit.
Hear that?
Large apes.
The call of the forest.
My boots. For bad luck. Good luck.
He's gone mad. We must bring you back to George.
You'll never find it.
How about us?
For you... straight ahead.
And don't forget...
walk backwards.
Whatever happens.
Bye.
Fucking jungle. What a ball-buster.
Okay so... that way.
I'll go in front... I mean behind.
Shit, my grenade ring!
Fuck.
He can't see us anymore.
The right way now.
That's him saying goodbye, I think.
His directions could be clearer.
You're right.
The forest offers only two things:
DEATH AND OBLIVION
You're here.
- Can't you see my machete? - Lift your legs!
Can't you see it?
Shit!
We're going to make fucking ski trails!
Shit!
- Coming? - Fucking nature!
Chataigne... come on, let's go.
Anyway, so I have a boyfriend
and even with him in Kerguelen, I don't cheat.
Except maybe once.
2, no 3, but it doesn't count.
Sleeping isn't sex.
He's not the type to fail an internship, lost in the jungle.
He does as he's told. All is fine.
Too bad for my Code. I'd have certified him "great catch".
18 years alone, really?
I'm not alone. I have Guia-Snow.
And you're here.
See? You're into me.
I hang onto my unlucky star.
France.
France is pretty surprising.
It always creeps into places you don't expect.
I am in a country where everything rots.
Think we'll survive?
Survive what?
The jungle?
No, life.
Napoleon's generals were 27 years old, on average.
Nowadays that's the average age of interns.
Our generation
is the low-ebb generation.
In any case, you were right.
I never felt alive before I came to this jungle.
Tarzan is charming.
Too bad you met no head shrinkers.
They're in Paris.
Guia-Snow is working at full throttle. Tourism is booming.
The minister congratulated me.
However,
I can't validate your internship because of your report.
Indeed...
Stay seated.
You mention a population that's fed up.
No one in my entourage is fed up.
The country is doing well. No need to change it.
The rise of the far-right isn't coming out of nowhere.
It's been going on for 20 years.
It won't end well.
Mr. Chataigne,
the French love to be "anti", but reason always prevails.
Goodbye then.
Vive the far right!
Vive the National Front!
THE END
Again, I dreamt it was the end.
It's becoming worrisome.
Shall we go?
In my dream
there was Rosio who...
He told me my life was just a rough draft.
And that his was fully polished.
Chataigne...
I'd like to know you forever.
There are 2 kinds of men: some govern, others lead.
And?
You govern.
Take a right.
This way.
Stop.
Shut off the engine.
We're looking for a balding guy, 30 to 40,
Not too fat, not too thin.
- Brown eyes. - Friquelin.
- Normal height. - We want Chataigne.
Marc Chataigne.
A weirdo always flashing...
the Code of Standards.
Where did you find that?
Is this yours?
How did you pay? Got the bill?
Did you declare it?
CHINA - SNOW INVEST, INC.
Gentlemen, we dislike the color of the building
that will house the ski trail.
Rather than gray, we'd prefer a bright color.
Why not green? It could appear ecological.
- No, red! - Blue!
You'll say "devaluation".
But devaluation, after a transition period,
allows your companies to grow, then export.
Learn to readjust.
Learn to adapt
to today's economical reality.
The future is professional microcredit.
- Rosio? - One small change.
Not gray, but light beige.
I know, no one is. But everyone agrees.
We have a problem with Chataigne!
What?
We'll play for time. Act normal.
The Emir of Qatar must be kept out of this.
Send interns. Our workforce is lacking.
In August? Impossible!
The interns are requisitioned by government, banks, commerce!
High-school interns are fine.
Listen, sir.
In summer, France is run by interns.
Use ones in high school!
Little prick!
Chataigne, or his remains.
Another victim of the jungle.
Coming?
Chataigne is faking his death.
Look at the footprints.
And the body remains? You see too many movies.
Many people fake their deaths to evade taxes.
No movies for me. Public radio suffices.
You don't know the jungle!
The footprints end here.
They form a circle. Do as you wish. I'll plow ahead.
Staying here alone?
You're crazy.
Crazy?
I'll show you crazy.
Go back to your snow.
I'll keep the ATV and the canoe.
Take a helicopter, Einstein.
Torture poles. Not very reassuring.
No, it's very reassuring. It means there's law and order.
I wonder...
if they have internet.
You really want to go here?
To civilization.
To Guia-Snow.
To the train!
Chataigne.
Come have a drink.
So now you've become a hippie?
Me, a hippie?
I work for an auditing firm. I'm here for the train.
At the moment...
I'm negotiating the route.
I painted this gold.
The suckers will think it's gold.
I'll give them a fake nugget.
In order to speed up negotiations.
Actually,
like in France, I use gifts...
Why like in France?
Guiana is France, right?
Repeat that.
I was saying... Guiana is France.
No, Guiana isn't France.
It's not even Guiana.
It's the jungle. No good guys, no bad.
Just nature and God.
You know Chappe?
No.
You didn't go to Henri IV, like me.
The high school in the 6th arrondissement?
5th.
- Metro Cluny. - Rue des Ecoles.
Yeah, metro Cluny.
Chappe: Struggle For Life. Only the fittest survive.
We haven't been introduced.
Big Jim at your service.
Marc Chataigne, Guia-Snow.
Cinderella, Chateau de Versailles.
So you came to disturb my members?
No, we're... just lost.
We all are, in this civilization. It's why I'm here to guide you.
Your wire info?
We just want to go back.
Good idea, Cinderella. But now explain
why your boyfriend has the boots I napped in last week?
He's not my boyfriend.
They're not mine. I can give them back.
I'll go barefoot...
get bit by flying slugs,
oozing caterpillars, marmosets...
You're a dead man!
Hear me, hear me!
The 21st is a century of devotion!
Do we want religion to squash us?
Yes!
Down with freedom!
Down with progress!
Excuse me...
Sorry to interrupt your...
mass, whatever, but...
can we bring the train through...
here?
Dinner time!
We'll rid you of your submission to higher beings.
One last wish?
Can you ask the didgeridoo guy to stop? I hate that stuff.
Much better.
I think I'm next.
Big Jim!
Farewell, Europe.
Farewell, jungle.
Farewell, Tarzan.
Farewell, Chataigne.
What a pleasure organizing Nature.
In hell we will burn up...
Mr. Friquelin. Tax bailiff.
I'm looking for Marc Chataigne.
That's me.
You didn't stop the procedure.
You're under arrest. Tax evasion and faking a death.
There is an atheist god!
I found cream and spoons. We can save him.
Fill him with cream.
More, more!
We can fill him up.
Wake up, wake up!
- Where is the giant nugget? - It's a fake!
The high-speed train!
I'll eat the Indians alive!
Indians? I'll eat them alive too!
Come on.
You go first.
I forgot my Code. Go ahead.
Chataigne? You can come back now.
I found it!
Are you crazy?
Are you okay?
I got bitten.
I got bitten by a water snake.
I only have 10 minutes left.
No, but...
I'd like to have done so much with you.
I'd like to have...
Have what?
I'd like to have built...
I'd like to have gone....
Gone where?
I never expected it to end like this.
Chataigne.
Can...
Can I...
Chataigne...
I'd like, one last time, to make love with you.
Want to?
7 minutes left.
I can last 7.
Wait.
I'm coming.
It's great.
Don't move.
This is a good idea too.
It's been 75 minutes.
You're not dead?
Well no, I'm not.
I got the snake wrong. It happens.
Take your stuff. Let's go.
Come on!
Thanks for helping.
I want to kiss you.
Why are you waiting, dummy?
Go on.
Hold on.
Give me your hand.
I can't swim.
Give me your hand.
Hold on.
Tarzan!
Look at me.
See me?
Come back, Tarzan.
Look up.
See the moon?
See the moon there?
It's a familiar object.
It makes us feel less alone.
Look at it.
Think of all the times you saw it during the day.
Don't give up.
Wake up, wake up!
I love you.
No, it's not true.
Anyone here?
In your arms, life is sweet
Life is sweet
Life isn't sweet at all
Life is sweet
Excuse me? Anyone here?
FREE, REQUIRED, SECULAR SCHOOL
She has a problem.
The generator is broken. We can't call for help.
Since privatization, they don't come do repairs.
I'm sick of the jungle. I wanted Tahiti.
Life is sweet...
Not sweet
Love is a voyage.
"Am I alive or dead?
"If alive, what death was I living until now?
"The 4 narrative modes are
"past, future, present, absent.
I think I am now in the present."
DIARY
Glad to see you. We thought you were dead.
I'll tell Galgaric.
He got around the safety standards.
The inauguration is now.
Tarzan is feeling ill.
Go on! Tell them to wait for me!
What happened?
We looked all over.
Come on, it's going to start.
Drive!
Come!
Your hour of glory!
Sir...
Ladies and gentlemen,
sometimes dreams become reality.
Breeding ground of initiatives, Guiana creates chances,
despite rumors.
Duplex!
Don't start the music now!
What are you doing?
Stamp it.
Fuck, my nugget.
I lost my nugget!
My nugget!
I lost my nugget!
There's gold! Come here!
The gold is mine!
I cannot validate your internship.
Settle your tax problem so there are no suspicions
of job corruption at the Ministry.
Mr. Rosio was supposed to validate it. He's not here?
He had a problem with his exit visa in Qatar.
No need to give me your report.
Guia-Snow was canceled.
The gold mine is more profitable.
And ski classes for Guianians? Public interest?
Let it deteriorate. It'll be forgotten.
As for public interest...
don't worry. Life has other interests.
The vein isn't as promising hoped,
but without the presence a tax bailiff to validate the discovery,
we couldn't have started mining so easily.
Really?
Friquelin isn't dead?
Yes.
Well, no.
Administratively, he's better off alive.
Anatomically, he's brain dead.
Before getting tenure, you're being sent...
to Denmark.
Actually, Greenland.
For project "Super Nanook".
Your mission:
certify to ISO 9002 a greenhouse tropical jungle.
Allow me to remind you I can't leave France
if I'm considered dead.
Here is a safe conduct,
validated of course by a stamp.
"The person in front of you is indeed alive."
If I'm alive,
it's because I'm dead.
Chataigne,
you're nonstandard.
Let's disappear backwards.
So if they coming looking,
they'll never find us.
Subtitling TITRAFILM